GazaLand

Trump’s Brilliant Kindergarten Politics in the Middle East

For over 30 years, I’ve joked about the idea of turning Gaza into the world’s largest amusement park. A Mediterranean paradise with luxury hotels, water slides, and a gigantic water park. A bit of satire, a bit of daydreaming.

And then Donald Trump comes along and says pretty much the same thing—but with his usual serious face. The result? The world loses its mind.

GazaLand: Trump's Vision for the Middle East – Fun for the Whole Family? (Image generated by Grok, created by xAI.)

Trump as the Stern Kindergarten Uncle

Trump has a unique talent for treating world leaders like a bunch of quarrelsome kindergarten kids. Israelis and Palestinians have been fighting over Gaza for centuries? Fine, then in comes "Uncle Kindergarten" and says:

"If you can’t behave, I’ll take the whole damn thing and turn it into an amusement park."

What happens next? Full-blown panic. Diplomats pull their hair out. The media hyperventilates.

But what has Trump really done? He has forced both sides to think differently. He has put them in a position where they either have to come to an agreement—or risk "GazaLand" actually becoming a reality.

How This Fits into Trump’s Strategy

Remember the tariff crisis with Mexico and Canada? Trump threatened extreme tariffs, people freaked out, and in the end, he got exactly what he wanted: stricter border control, more cooperation, and a better deal for the U.S.

The same thing happened with NATO contributions. He yelled about pulling out, Europe panicked, and suddenly, they were paying more.

This is classic Trump: Create a storm, let people rage, and when the chaos settles, you’ve achieved exactly what you wanted all along.

GazaLand: The Unexpected Dream?

But let’s be honest—the idea of Gaza actually becoming a tourist paradise isn’t that crazy. Look at Dubai. A desert turned into a futuristic metropolis. Gaza has a prime location on the Mediterranean and could have been a luxury destination instead of a war-torn hellhole.

So, if Trump actually pulled this off, GazaLand might turn out to be incredible. Just imagine:

• "Hamas Drop" – a 70-meter free-fall ride.
  
  
• "Tunnel Escape Ride" – a nerve-wracking attraction where you have to find the fastest way out through a maze of underground tunnels.
  
  
• "Checkpoint Rollercoaster" – you never know how long it’ll take to get through!

But jokes aside: As absurd as Trump’s idea sounds, it serves a purpose. He’s forcing the parties to be more creative, more pragmatic—and maybe, in the end, actually find a lasting solution.

If not? Well, then we might just get a new Disneyland by the Mediterranean. And that’s not exactly the worst thing that could happen.

GazaLand 2026 – who’s in? 😆